Apologies Need Not Apply
by ashehole
Summary: Thoth's ideas of how to love someone are maybe a little less clothed than Yui expected.


**Notes:** As a random aside, a lot of the work I do for KamiAso is mostly based upon the otome game, rather than the anime itself. I do take a lot of inspiration from the anime, too, though. Because it's great. That said! This is definitely based more or less on Thoth's route in the game, with a hint of canon divergence.

* * *

Yui had been avoiding the library for a week now, and consequently, she had been avoiding _him_ too. Even back here, hidden among the more dustier books (if you could call them dusty, considering how new everything really looked), his voice could reach her. It sent a shiver up her spine and a wave of heat over her face. She didn't like it, and yet she craved it.

In class, she kept her head down, staring at the wood of her desk and tried to play a soundtrack over his voice. But he was her teacher in this school, and it was either her grades that would suffer or her own emotions.

Obviously she picked her emotions.

That was why she had started to avoid the library. That, and the fact that Thoth _scared_ her.

Not in the sense that she thought he was going to hit her, that he would hurt her in obvious ways. But while she was pretty naive on occasion, Yui wasn't an idiot. Not exactly. But he made her feel that way. That was the kind of power that scared her, something old and foreign that she didn't feel around the other gods when they talked.

They had their own ways of talking to her, but they never peered at her like she was nothing.

Even now, thinking about it, her heart slammed in her chest and she let a fresh wave of hurt and resentment wash over her before she carefully placed it back down deep in her. He was a god, and she was just a silly human girl. What did she care about what he thought about her?

The little crush (the big crush, the thing that was almost obsession and need and desperation) made her care. She wanted him to pay attention to her, to teach her so she could teach him in return. She wanted to see the small smiles that played along his lips when he wasn't being overbearing and condescending.

Which is why she had risked coming back to the library if only to hide in the stacks and listen to his voice. With a groan, Yui clapped a hand to her forehead.

Stupid. She was so stupid. She should leave right this second and hide out in her room until she could tell herself that she was over it. Maybe she could even pretend to be sick and not go to class tomorrow, to give herself a little extra time to wean herself away from the one god who wasn't seeking her out.

"Dumb," she breathed out to the books. Her fingers danced over their spines. Really dumb. She just now noticed that she had come to the one section that was almost second nature to her now: Egypt.

"If you were going to stalk me, the least you could have done is not pick the most obvious section."

Yui went stiff, staring intently at the books like maybe if she did it hard enough, he would disappear. Or she would! She would prefer to disappear at the moment.

His shadow fell over her, and she could feel the warmth of his body against her back as he leaned in, slamming his hand against the shelf of the bookcase. Trapped.

Yui could never tell if she liked it or if it worried her. If she stared harder, maybe he would go away.

She felt the weight of his free hand on her head, fingers digging into her skull as he forced her to look up at him. And she did, slowly, letting her gaze linger on the bare expanse of his dark chest first before her gaze swept up to meet his bright blue. Nothing about her actions went missed. She went red at her lack of subtlety.

"I - I wasn't. Stalking you, I mean. I wasn't stalking you, and don't you think that you're—" Her feet followed the direction of her head as she turned around completely to talk to him, her back pressing against the bookshelf.

He was too close now. Not that this was any surprise, considering that he didn't have any clue about personal space, and she remembered that kiss only a week ago that still burned at her mouth. She resisted to touch her lips for the millionth time, _especially_ in front of him. Letting him know that she liked it would make him think that he had a right to do it again, and if he thought that, then he would continue to treat her like she didn't matter as much else but a silly human girl to play with.

But how she wanted him to kiss her again like that again, to make her knees weak.

His mouth curled into a smirk, the tip of his nose brushing against hers. "Think that I'm what?"

"Too close!" she squeaked out, her lips pursing in irritation. Her brows drew together. "You're too close."

"Am I?"

Well now he was just teasing her again.

"You know you are," she huffed.

He was quiet for a moment, a serious look overtaking that smirk. She missed it fiercely. The way he studied her now made her a little uncomfortable, a little worried.

"You stopped coming to the library. The table is empty without you hogging it," he said lightly.

If she didn't know him better, she could have sworn he was telling her that he missed her.

Yui realized she didn't know Thoth at all.

"If this is an apology, it's not a very good one," she told him carefully.

"I'm not apologizing." A dark look descended over his face now.

The quirk of her eyebrow was more brave than how she felt. Her breath was shaky, and she had the unmistakable feeling of being pinned down. Finally, _unfortunately_, he pulled back from her. A few inches, but enough to give her breathing room. Enough to make her miss him.

Love was a sad thing, she decided, and the human heart was too complex to teach gods who couldn't even begin to understand the basics.

"Do you want me to apologize, Kusanagi? Is that going to make you come back?"

Her lips parted, but Yui found she couldn't find a thing to say to him. She wanted to scream that yes, she wanted that apology, and for him to have a softer touch and kinder words and for him to tell her that he missed her. She wanted him to understand her own feelings, because it hurt too much sometimes to exist between an experiment and someone he wanted.

Mostly, she wanted to come back even without that apology, because sometimes being with him even when he was a jerk was better than avoiding him.

He leaned in again, as if this was permission for him to kiss her again (it wasn't, it never was, but Thoth took when he thought he could, and she wanted it, and she dreaded it) but his lips only barely brushed against hers.

"Say what it is you want to say," he demanded.

There were too many things she wanted to say. And his mouth against hers was almost too distracting to remember human language anyway.

"I don't want either of us to be lonely anymore," was what she managed to force out of her mouth.

Thoth pulled back again, and she bit back the whine that rose up as protest. His eyes widened in surprise. She couldn't help the smile that played on her lips, because for the first time, she really felt like she had the upper hand with him.

Well, that, and he was cute when he looked at her that way, as if really seeing her for the first time.

He did kiss her then, no warnings, no permission, but her mouth easily parted against his this time. She was _prepared_ this time. And what he was demanding from her, she was demanding right back, a willing participant this round. Her back pressed into the shelves uncomfortably, but she barely felt it under the whirlwind of his demanding mouth, under his hands that moved to her waist, the small of her back, her hips. Her own hands smoothed over his chest, shaking fingers brushing his bare skin with delight before moving up over his shoulders, the back of his neck, threading through soft, white hair.

One hand roamed over her side now, under the jacket of her school uniform and over the flimsy blouse beneath of it. She drew in a gasp, breaking the kiss as he palmed her breast through the shirt. Not losing stride, Thoth kissed the corner of her mouth, traced the line of her jaw down to her neck, nudging her head to tilt to the side to give him better access.

Out of her depth, Yui did as she was instructed, her world zoomed in entirely on his hot mouth and hotter hand. This was too far, she thought vaguely before losing those words. His teeth scraped along delicate skin, and she made an embarrassing sound that was almost like the mewling of a cat. He laughed against her, one leg moving between her legs as he pressed himself closer.

"We're in the library," he chided her.

"D-don't do that, then!" She struggled to keep her voice down, suddenly all too aware of the public place they were in. What if someone heard something? What if someone came down this way?

She shouldn't have thought that idea thrilling at all.

"Do what?" He bit down on the junction between her shoulder and neck - not harshly, but a notch above anything she'd call gentle. Her body arched against his, and she gritted her teeth to keep the noise of surprise caught in her throat.

_"That."_

"I think you like it."

Her face felt like it was on fire. Of course she liked it, her traitorous body giving her away. "You can't tell me to be quiet and then do that and expect results."

His lips pressed a kiss to the spot. "I got the result I wanted, though." Another kiss was placed to the skin behind her ear. His breath was hot against her, his voice low. "The library is locked."

The shock of those words hit her like cold water, and she huffed angrily. "You're a jerk!"

He smiled at her, even as his hands moved to remove her school jacket, gently pushing it off of her shoulders. It fell to the floor with a thump as her heart beat wildly in her chest. "Yes."

"Wait," she told him, staring down at the white fabric.

He waited, his hands poised just over her skin. She was surprised that he actually listened to her this time, and that nearly made her forget what her protest was all about anyway.

"Don't you want me?" Thoth asked her, and while there was that arrogant tone laced with his words, she could hear the undercurrent much more clearly now. The fear of rejection again, the confusion it brought with it because how could anyone walk away from him. But there was also that loneliness she knew existed in his heart, and the ache in hers to cure him of it.

"Do you want me?" she fired back, pushing him away from her. Her hands rested on his chest lightly to keep him where he was.

They watched one another, hazel eyes unwavering under those dark blue ones.

He reached a hand out, cupping her chin, his thumb running over her lips. It sent waves of heat through her. "I want you, Kusanagi. I can still apologize if that will help you."

She choked out a laugh, even as her hands moved to the cape secured at his shoulders. He didn't move, allowing her to fumble with the clasps until it floated with much more grace to the library's floor than her jacket had. "Would you mean it?"

"I don't think so," he admitted. "It'd be one more lie on top of the many others I've told before. I'm not going to apologize for wanting you to teach me what love is anymore than I doubt you'll apologize for coming here and interrupting my life."

He had a point. Not a very good one, Yui reasoned. She hadn't meant to interrupt his life; she had only wanted to get to know him more as she spent more time with him.

Did he love her? She wasn't sure, but there was a pleading look that flashed occasionally in his eyes that told her he wanted to, that maybe he did and couldn't recognize it. That maybe this was love for him, his gentle words delivered with a harsh tone, and the way he waited for her this time.

"Are you going to let me be lonely?"

He pushed, and her walls crumbled.

She leaned up, her body brushing against his as she kissed him. She'd thought about this a thousand times, how soft it could be, how she'd ease into it. Instead, she kissed him hard and messily, her teeth knocking against his. A flash of irritation rolled over his face as he pushed her back into the bookcase again, the hand on her chin tightening as he took control. She was breathing hard when he broke the kiss this time, his own pants against her lips as his hands moved with a flurry, undoing the buttons of her blouse so fast that one of them popped.

A giggle escaped her lips before she could swallow it. It was a giddy sound, brought on by her desire and uncertainty and the white-hot flash of adrenaline coursing through her veins the same as the spark of heat tightening in her gut.

He kissed like a man who knew well what he wanted, and that made her head swim. But his hands moved like a man fumbling to keep control.

"Are you laughing at me?" Amusement crawled through his dark voice, and a shiver went up her spine, leaving her mouth dry for a moment.

She licked her lips nervously and was delighted in the way he watched it like a hawk watched a mouse. "A little bit."

"You can be cruel when you want to be," he told her as his head dipped, his tongue painting patterns along her collarbone. A soft moan tumbled from her lips as her hands traveled down the expanse of his back, wishing it was bare.

He painted a stripe up to her shoulder, pushing her blouse off of it. Her hands fell to his waist, hesitating only a bit as her trembling fingers slipped under his shirt. He stilled for a moment, breathing hard against her shoulder as she trailed her hands over his side and along the warm skin of his back, feeling the way his muscles jumped under her touch.

She smiled, a bright spot of joy thrumming through her at his reaction and the way his teeth sunk into her skin and made her moan again. Her nails drew light circles over his skin as his hands finished with the rest of her buttons, her shirt following her jacket.

And then they were resting on the outside of her thighs, just below her backside. He gripped them, and she yelped in surprise as he easily hefted up, her thighs around his waist now as she half rested on a shelf. She locked her legs around him for security, her school skirt pushed up around her hips.

She went bright red everywhere that her skin was exposed, nervousness blending with the heat that coiled through her, the spark of desire that settled in her core and made her ache.

"Thoth," she murmured, and he picked his head up to give her a brief kiss.

"Let me love you," he told her, sealing his words with another biting kiss, swallowing up any protests she might have mustered if he wasn't clogging every sense.

And then his mouth was back on her chest, his lips forming over the hardened bud of her nipple through her bra. She cried out and arched against him again. His hands crawled over her back until he found the clasp. Through the haze, she realized he was struggling with it, and laughed as her hands reluctantly left his skin to help him.

"You're laughing again," he muttered as she unhooked her bra for him.

Her hand slid to his cheek, cupping his face as she gaze at him, the flush that painted his dark skin a dusky rose, the desire that made his gaze infinitely hotter.

"I promise not to tell if you promise to not smite me."

He barked out a laugh, sliding her bra off and exposing her breasts. She gasped lightly, not prepared for the cool rush of air against her otherwise burning skin.

"I can't tell if you're clueless or playing me," he said, but whatever response she could have mustered up was lost to the heat of his mouth on her breasts.

When she arched, this time she rolled her hips against his, feeling him against her. She'd never been this close to a man before, never been kissed liked this, never cried out because some jerk was taking her nipple between his teeth and nipping gently. She forgot, for a moment, that she was more than a bundle of nerve endings, and as much as she'd have liked to let her pleasure be his focus, she wanted to taste him too. Her hands clutched at his shirt pathetically, tugging it up until he sighed and relented, letting her pull it off of him.

She was aching for him to return his attentions to her breast, but she leaned in, her mouth exploring the line of his ear, the shape of his jaw. She listened to each hitch of breath he tried to hide, and the way he panted into her skin. His hands moved in where his mouth had been before, and she'd get distracted from her task by the spike of pleasure that came with the way he kneaded her breasts or how he rolled her nipple between his fingers. But she'd always throw herself back into it, nibbling at the skin of his shoulder and watch with delight as the skin puffed up pink.

When what she figured was his patience running out had him pushing her back and claiming her mouth again, she gave in to the tide that was Thoth and the way he made her drown. His hand slipped between them, where their hips met, and there he found her soaking through her underwear, driving his fingers over her until she gasped into his mouth. Her legs tightened around him.

"Kusanagi," he breathed, his fingers hooking into the waistband of her underwear and tugging them down her thighs.

"Yui," she corrected as her hands somehow found themselves at his waist, pulling at his pants in the same eager, inexperienced manner she had shown with his shirt.

"Loosen your grip on me," Thoth growled.

She blinked and stared at him and the impatient look on his face. A smile tugged at her mouth, even as she licked her lips again, panting with the same need that drove him to roughly tug at her underwear. But her legs stayed where they were.

"Call me Yui," she countered.

A challenge flashed in his dark gaze, and she knew she was playing a dangerous game, standing between him and what they both wanted so desperately now.

"Kusanagi."

"Yui."

A ripping sound echoed through the library, his grip so tight on the pathetic fabric that it tore. That was funny too, but Yui managed to keep from laughing this time around.

"Yui," he breathed out in a strangled voice, as if he was ashamed that he couldn't stand his ground.

He had the upper hand, but she was glad to know that she could still command some sort of control over this situation. Over the way he overwhelmed her so completely.

She loosened her grip on him and he managed to get rid of the mess of underwear that had once been hers. He laid his hands over hers as well, guiding her in pulling his pants down before he had to take over.

Her breathing was a ragged mess when she caught sight of him, stiff and jutting upright. Lightly, her fingertips stroked along his length. Thoth groaned as his cock twitched under her attentions. How had it gotten this far? How had her avoiding him because he didn't understand her feelings turned into him pinning her against a bookcase, poised between her aching legs ready to fall open for him?

Yui wondered if perhaps it still wasn't too far to grab her clothes and run away. Fantasies were one thing; the real deal was so much more terrifying.

He tipped her chin up so that she was forced to look at him, her fingers half formed over his cock. "Yui," he said again, more firmly than he had before.

It was a manipulation, she knew that. Could feel it in her gut underneath of her need. But it was also a plea, because Thoth was terribly complex, she was coming to find out.

"Kiss me," she told him.

He did as he moved further between her legs, brushing the tip of his head against her core. Her hand moved to rest on his hip, fingers digging in sharply as his hand replaced hers. She was wet and waiting for him, and he guided himself into her, taking care in a way she didn't expect from him. He rolled his hips then, and she moaned loudly. He had taken his time to enter her, but it seemed like his patience had finally broke, and he pulled out only to thrust himself back in, a moan on his lips.

Her back pressed uncomfortably into the shelf again, the juxtaposition of that pain with the awkward pleasure of him moving against her almost too much to bear. She panted against his mouth, breathing him in as they exchanged a series of sloppy kisses before his wet mouth found her throat again, her collarbone, her breasts. He threatened to swallow her whole as her hips found his rhythm, whimpering in time to each thrust. The pain ebbed, and his shallow thrusts became deeper.

Her hands roamed, eliciting groans from him everywhere they went as his hands moved with purpose. One tangled in her violet hair, tugging harshly. The other slid between them again, moving between slick folds until he found her clit. She moaned something that might have been her name, but she was sure she had lost her hold of the human language somewhere between him pulling her hair and the way she tightened around him.

His lips formed over hers again, and between biting kisses, she could hear him murmur her name over and over into her mouth, as if he were whispering a secret.

It was almost like unraveling when she came, as though he had pulled the whole world apart. A shudder ran through her body, her chest pressing hard against his, as if she could meld into him, her nails biting into his shoulders.

There was no relief as he kept moving inside of her, another cry bubbling up in her throat until he moaned as well, hips sporadic as he pushed her further into the shelf. She scrambled to cling to him, holding him inside of her as long as possible as he tucked his face between her shoulder and neck. The only sounds echoing back at them now were the harsh pants of their breaths as they struggled to come down off the high.

* * *

She lied across his cape, limbs wrapped up in his as his hands roamed over her body in fervent worship. She ached, pleasantly, needy. Her head rested on his chest, a hand idly playing with the lock of hair he had tied off in the front.

"Will you keep coming back to the library now?" he asked her, that air of arrogance back in his voice.

He knew she would, and that was more frustrating than she could imagine it would be.

She placed a kiss on his chest, above his heart, before turning to look up at him. "Are you going to apologize now?"


End file.
